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Sean Penn, El American

The Idiot of the Week: Sean Penn or Bill Gates?

This week, we want our readers to decide between Sean Penn and Bill Gates to be awarded Idiot of the Week. Both have made worthy statements.

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Fortunately for El American‘s content, but unfortunately for our peace of mind, we are stuck with two runner-ups for our Idiot of the Week award. This week, we want our readers to decide who should hold such an honorable distinction: Sean Penn or Bill Gates? Both candidates have recently made worthy statements.

Sean Penn, expert theologian and political scientist

Sean Penn – the actor best known for having been Madonna’s husband back when people still cared about Madonna’s partners, and only if you could actually keep count – has once again used his Twitter account to show his political leanings with a controversial and rather ignorant tweet.

Sean Penn – a self-proclaimed Marxist and friend of Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro, and Evo Morales – appears to have received his political training from his ex-wife, Robin Wright, the actor who played U.S. President Claire Underwood in the 5th season of Netflix’s House of Cards. Penn tweeted that the Vatican should impeach “evangelical leaders” if they do not follow Nikki Haley’s leads and denounce their support of “Satin,” but that perhaps they are “too busy at sex parties.”

The accumulation of inaccuracies in a single tweet is so overwhelming that we wonder why Twitter hasn’t put up a warning in the style of the ones it put on Trump’s tweets before completely suspending his account. Aside from giving smoothness and shine to Satan himself by having satinized him, Sean Penn seems to be quite clueless about the branches of Christianity, which the Vatican has authority over, as well as not knowing the difference between an impeachment’ and an excommunication.

With these sectarian statements, Sean Penn may be trying to carve out a career in the increasingly left-leaning Democratic Party. Although knowing Hollywood’s sympathy for left-wing artists (and its aversion to right-wing artists), Sean Penn still has time to land a role in the “‘Marvel Cinematic Universe’ if he declares some hodgepodge such as “Captain America should expatriate Batman from the X-Men if he doesn’t follow Darth Vader’s example when he took on Thanos. But he’s probably busy partying with the Romulans.”

Bill Gates, expert virologist and nutritionist

The second runner-up for Idiot of the Week is Bill Gates, who lately seems bent on looking like Thanos himself, or a James Bond supervillain. Like Thanos and Malthus, Bill Gates seems to be concerned about overpopulation. He is also funding geoengineering projects that flirt with the idea of covering the sun with an artificial cloud to prevent climate change. Yes, in the purest David Blade style, one of the villains in Highlander II.

Lately, Bill Gates seems obsessed with pandemics, and after perpetrating Windows Vista and Internet Explorer, filling our computers with viruses and blue screens, he now wants to empty our refrigerators of meat.

This week, Bill Gates declared in an interview with the MIT Technology Review that “rich countries should move to 100% synthetic beef.” Gates, emulating the billionaire and megalomaniac villains of James Bond movies, wants to impose a vegan diet on us. Not even Ernst Stavro Blofeld dared to do so.

Gates, who admitted to being one of the biggest polluters on earth, claims that the rest of us mortals are a danger to the poor planet because we eat too much meat and have too many children. Apparently, he is concerned about carnal sin in its entirety.

Environmentalism increasingly resembles a dogmatic religion, and serves as an excuse for the political elite to set themselves up as supreme priests pontificating on their fixed view of the world. At this rate, Sean Penn, expert theologian, will “crown” Bill Gates as “supreme Brahmin” to launch a “fatwa” making beef eating “anathema”, so that the world will imitate the example of his venerated 21st century socialism in Venezuela.

Let the readers of El American decide this week’s idiot. The competition between Bill Gates and Sean Penn is both fierce and of Biblical proportions.

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